Our financial situation made me face the reality of something I didn't want to accept, that we really couldn't afford for me to smoke, and I would have preferred to have quit a better way, with some type of chemical assistance, but? Cold turkey it is since that was the only way open and it's been a heck of a lot harder than I thought it would be.
It made me realize how much it affected me to have not having it be this big of an issue. Right now I could really care less about the people that are saying how it's so much healthier for me, let's face facts, if I was really concerned about the health aspect of it, I would have quit a long time ago. For me the actual nicotine made my life more bearable, whether that is a real affect or one that only existed in my mind?
It is pretty unbearable right now, but in theory? It gets easier. The last time I quit I did it using Zyban and then gradually got my smoking down then stopped, it was no where near as hard as this is. I managed to quit then for several years until my father was dying, which made me start again. I think part of the reason this time is harder is because I really don't want to quit, I enjoyed it, it made me feel better at times and it was my one vice.
Maybe I'll take up swearing...
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